She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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