either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
