Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
