she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
