rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Welp...herpes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Two words: blizzard sex
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
