Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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