And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
