I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
