So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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