i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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