k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
