I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
