It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
