Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
