she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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