I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
