pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
