at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
kristin has been a bad kristin
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
