In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize