I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
