marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
