I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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