She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
