the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
