I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
