she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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