Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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