You're my little dorito
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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