it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
