I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i dont even know how to be here
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
