Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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