i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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