Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
