oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
