He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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