there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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