i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
