i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
