If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
