The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
