so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
