He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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