maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
