I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
