did you get engaged???
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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