neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
