I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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