I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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