i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
