all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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