So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize