Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's blow job season.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
