Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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