He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
