I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
