I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize