omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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