i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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