What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The uberlube is also flammable
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
