I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
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