I don't think brook has ever known best
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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