Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize