I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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