she told me i tasted like america
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
