I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
